Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Mama
As we grow older we become more mature.. Ha..
"Mama" By Puppy

She doesn't play mahjong and go shopping like a tai tai.
She could, but she didn't.

She always used ME as an excuse for not going dinners with her friends.

She always said "sorry, i can't go. Because i have to take care of my child, even thought everyone know I am 19 already! "

She doesn't initiate to call or contact her friends unless necessary, and she never writes back to her friends' greeting cards.

The worst thing is that, she complains to me she doesn't have a friend!

"Can i go oversea alone or with my friends?" i asked.
"No" she answered.

"Can i stay overnight at my friend's house?" i asked
"No" she asnwered.

"Can i watch a mid night movie?" i asked
"No" she asnwered.

"Can i dye hair?" i asked
"No" she answered.

"Can i...." i asked
"No.... no.... and No...." she answered.

Too many choices in my life.
Are made by her.
I am 19.
And i am going to a university.

I am doing good.
I have a good mother.

Once, I asked her : "when will u let me do what i want, choose what i like"
She said : "soon... soon... "I

belive ten years down the road, or maybe 20, 30 ... years later
Her answer is still : "soon... soon..."

I asked her again : "when will you feel comfortable to let me be independent"
She said : ".... "
I asked : "why?"
She said : "Because i have nothing but you now, and i can't afford to lose you."

That's the ultimate powerful sentence in the world.
And i know i have to take that.
My lips sealed, and i know i can't blame her for that.
Now is 12:32AM, she is shouting from her bedroom to ask me to sleep.
Fine! I wonder does it occur to her that i have no school tmr and currently i am having a long holiday.
Mother's day is coming. I know I love her as much as I do belive. seriously, I do love her.
But, some how, i dun feel like i am being myself. oh well~ HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY
- posted by kanery at 12:02:00 AM