Sunday, July 27, 2008

我应该学怎么用华语打字了。
那么迟还睡不着，也不知道为了什么，突然间变emo。。

我有些后悔读大学了，这真的是我要的吗？

今天我约了朋友们去吃饭，最后知道有位朋友决定不想读了，因为家里发生了事。

她。。。找到了一份工。

我开始问了自己一些问题。。。

你好，你叫什么名？
钟康泰

今年几岁了？
二十一岁，到了十月份就二十二了。

你喜欢做什么？
以前吗？

以前和现在有不同吗？
有。

那你以前喜欢做什么？
我很喜欢画画，唱歌。我也喜欢演习。

演戏？那。。你演得好吗？
我也不知道。以前小五我演过小红帽里的大坏狼，虽然那时没得到奖，但是能够完全变成另外一个人物觉得很开心。
中三时我演过Julius Caesar，得了亚军。中四演了Science Project，其实也只是因为我们的Science Project与其他班的presentation与众不同，所以得了冠军。

运动呢？
小四的时候喜欢游泳。我不会打篮球，也不会踢珠球。
小的时候我的姑姑有教我打乒乓，但最后还是没学了。
中学时期，我也和我的朋友一起打羽毛球。
我的体力很差，因为不常做运动的关系。

那现在你喜欢做什么呢？
我不知道。应该是赚钱吧。我觉得有钱能够买到你要的东西，人们说钱不重要是骗人的。
学费，车费，和朋友出门聊天吃东西，买衣服，等等。想要打扮自己也需要钱啊。

你不觉得你太虚伪了吗？
可能吧。是被这个社会影响的吧。好看难看由不得你来决定，而是社会做裁判。

你不觉得当你自己最好吗？你为什么要在乎别人的眼光?
我还是我自己啊。打扮是为了给自己多点自信。如果人家夸你变帅了，或变美了，还是说你开始跟上了潮流。你不会开心吗？还是你比较喜欢人家在你背后嘲笑着你。

你相信你有魅力吗？
没有。小时候我也不懂怎么与同学们沟通，打成一片。以前教过的朋友，似乎都没联络了。
以前我的家人对我非常严格，放学后得直接回家，不能出去玩，不然家人就开始打给学校投诉了。不能和朋友在一起，我也非常难过。现在虽然稍微有些自由了，但也没有花很多时间交新的朋友。我也不在乎，好朋友就够了，不需要多朋友。

你喜欢读大学吗？
一半一半吧。当亲戚朋友知道我在读大学时，会令我家人感到骄傲。
亲戚们一直都会在一旁说自己的子女有多好，家人就会自然而然帮我们定下目标。
“以后你不成才你就得吃草了。不要做个没出息的人。你得发奋图强。”我听这句话有十多年了。我知道能够读完大学是件好事。我不知道的是我以后读完后要当什么。

那你有什么打算？
我很想走一步算一步。我想过当艺人，因为能够受到人们的崇拜，但是当艺人不是件容易事。
1。你必须长得好看。
2。你要有些才艺。（能唱，能跳，能演，能够拍导演的马屁）

我也想过离开新加坡，去其他的国家，我不明白为什么那么多外国人想来这里。

工作环境？也不是那么好，顾客越来越没礼貌，工作人员的态度也是半斤八两。
学习环境？好虽好，但有了外国的竞争对手，新加坡人很难维持下去。
家人？ 我不想对不起他们。我爱他们。但是他们不了解我。我也没怪他们。

你有崇拜的对象吗？
有。王力宏。因为他能唱，很有音乐天份，而且他也不在乎别人对他的眼光。

你又怎么知道他也不在乎别人对他的眼光？
有人胡说八道，说他是gay,他也不当成一回事。他只想写他的词，唱他的歌。我觉得这样的人非常有性格，值得敬佩。

那你能够以他做榜样吗？
我一直想学弹钢琴，吹笛子，吹口提琴，打鼓。。。最后没件事弄得好。我凡事都三分钟热度。

那最近你否在做什么？
玩Maple Story,打电动。

不觉得浪费时间？
不会。因为我觉得做起他的事也没意义。反正都要开学了，到时再努力些吧。

那。。。你有心上人吗？
有。但是不是人。

是谁？
一只狗。

喜欢那只狗吗？
不知道。

为什么？
那只狗太忠实了。那么多年来我一直一个人过。突然有只狗在我身旁陪伴着我，又那么忠厚老实。我有压力。

什么压力？
怕我对那只狗不够好。

那你对那只狗好不好？
不好。因为那只狗看起来不开心。我不知道要不要帮那只狗找个新的主人。与其让它和我一起受苦，不如帮它找个更会珍惜它的主人。
- posted by kanery at 1:13:00 AM

- posted by kanery at 10:08:00 PM

- posted by kanery at 12:49:00 AM

Well.. the motivation came and went, faster than the blink of an eye, worse than a white lie no matter how innocent it may sound. Ha yeah I missed my gym session again.
Today I wasn't slacking at home either, cos I went over to Lianhua and did my alumni stuff. Didn't discuss much though but it's a headstart. I'm in the midst of collecting the ultimate oldies songlist and I (both legal and illegal =) ) collected songs.
Am i old? I'm only 22 years old.. and my sister was so excited when she saw a strand of white hair growing out of my head. "Oh my god kor kor you have white hair?!" I think that strand of white hair was weeping so hysterically cos it stayed on my head for less than 10mins after being discovered by my sis.
I sleep late and wake up late so often nowadays I can't keep track of the days. But staying at home is really fun cos I always enjoy the friendly arguments I had with my aunt.

Case 1:
Kangtai: Errr.. gu ah (aunt ah..).. tomorrow i'm going out with caimei from 12 to 4.
Aunty: Why?
Kangtai: Haha nothing lah just tell you first.. we are going out for something.
Aunty: (Stony glare) Going to buy stuff again ah? Always spend money hor?
Kangtai: (Paisey expression)No lah ha..
Aunty: Then? Buy bag? Buy clothes?
Kangtai: Ha no lah.. I don't want to tell you.. Tomorrow you can see what we have done.. If I tell you now you will be angry.
Aunty: Facial ah?
(JACKPOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Kangtai: hahahaha.. er..
Aunty: You everytime sleep so late, Caimei everytime eat peanuts.. Never take care of your faces! Do facial pimples will always come back one.. waste money.

Moral of the story: You don't have to explain to your aunt, she'll know.
My aunt has learnt to predict and her prediction skills are super good.. You can always tell a lie but she will guess everything correctly.

Case 2:
I like to binge on junk food, and inevitable cause trouble for my aunt.

Kangtai: (Eating non stop and watching shows on the com)
Aunty: What are you eating?
Kangtai: Huh? Oh.. Something like Kacang Puteh.. You want?
Aunty: (Pondered slightly) Ok lah abit.. I don't want too much.
Kangtai: Orh.

10 mins later

Kangtai: (Still eating non stop and watching shows on the com)
Kangtai: Aunty ah..
Aunty: What?
Kangtai: You still want?
Aunty: Don't want.. Later i sore throat..
Kangtai: Aiyah take lah. (Go over to her side and push the snacks to her)
Aunty: (Stony glare again) You ah.. give me eat give me eat.. later i sick how? ok lah gimme.. ok.. enough..
- posted by kanery at 8:28:00 PM

Adopting A New Style
I decided to stop with the procrastination.

I woke up and looked the clock, hmm.. almost 1am..

Maintaining a blog wasn't as easy as I thought it would be, isn't it just about telling everyone briefly what you did and how you feel. I thought it would be a hassle to pen down my thoughts to the exact minute details and rather just let the pictures do the talking. Pictures say a thousand words right?

Anyway, who would spend so much time reading through so much words? I only do so selectively to other people's blogs ha. So why am i spending the time typing now?

Well.. Pretty much until my dad borrowed my digicam and Mr Lai Tsuen Yung kept forgetting to post the pictures to me.

SO.. .. .. now i have to make do with words and use it to replace my pictures. I planned on uploading 10 pictures.. damn.. 10000 freaking words..

I went out a lot recently- Bukit Panjang Gatherings, Pioneer Gatherings, My ACCA RELC gatherings, NTU gatherings, ARMY gatherings, me and sis team gatherings, me and Junxian team gatherings until my pockets felt kinda numb and my secret money stash was diminishing.

I've watched shows that I'm proud of (Ten Promises I Made To Dog, KungFu Panda), disgusted with (You Don't Mess With The Zohan), bored of (Hancock).

I've eaten at places i couldn't really remember when it happened.. which includes 2 steamboats, 1 Seoul garden, 1 late night supper/pub session when I got super drunk, 1 Geylang supper tour and a couple of hawker centres/ food courts excursions.

Now it's just kinda boring though, living life like a nerd cause if I'm not out there to accompany my 知己们, I would be staying at home playing Fallout, Fallout 2, Fable, Warcraft and Worms 4: Mayhem. I lost the interest to Mapling (but I guess it's only temporary) and the will to exercise. I've planned schedules that I couldn't keep up with and now I'm just going through a 走一步算一步 process.

I'm not sad though, just felt so bored.. so lazy and so "fat". I haven't gained a single kg, but the "fat" feeling is kind of like- the "oh damn another day to laze at home" and the "is lunch ready? i just wanna eat and go back to my game". I'm more than just a couch potato.. I'm the couch itself.

Junxian had measles recently and yeah.. haven't really got the chance to visit him. I called him though and he said he was fine except for his inconsistent fever relapses, which got him into thinking that he had dengue fever. Lucky thing it was just measles.. but I haven't had it yet so I'm not too sure how it felt.. must have been terrible. He told me he felt useless at home because he couldn't do anything and he has got so much to do. I was so 自卑. I wonder if I ever felt useless when I'm at home the whole day.

Tomorrow's a brand new day again. Damn.. another day to laze at home. Should I get myself to walk over to Gombak Stadium and work out? I don't know.. maybe if someone or something motivates me. Everyday seems like deja vu to me if I do the same thing over and over again.. Wake up, Play, Eat, Play, Watch Tv, Play, Sleep.. Gonna snap back to reality and do some checks! OK!! Exercise tomorrow!! Ha.. that's kinda sudden.. The motivation came back.. hmm.. maybe after I go to Mac with my sis for a quick lunch first. Nar I can't type 10000 words. My fingers will break.
- posted by kanery at 12:57:00 AM